Sublime
by dandelion weed
Summary: Hi, my name is Kasamatsu Yukio. I'm a college student struggling to pass my final exams but my dorm mates are mentally-challenged adults so I moved to this apartment where I have only one neighbor. The others left because- GET YOUR TARANTULA OFF MY FACE TETSUYA! Anyway, we also have a boa and a turtle. By 'we' I meant Kuroko Tetsuya. He ran away from home. I'm dating him. Un-betaed


It's funny, really, that Kise was the one who found out first and consequently starting a large chain reaction.

And it was just a mistake on Kasamatsu's part. A tiny mistake by tapping the wrong pad because he was in a hurry.

_-Midorima's in my bed-_

Kise stared at the screen of his smart phone, the straw sliding away from his gaping mouth. The gadget went off again and Kise was almost afraid to read another message from Kasamatsu. Gathering his courage, he opened it.

_-Sorry, that wasn't for you-_

That was it, simple and plain. But Kise was too shocked to register it properly and he finally gave in to his instinct.

He screamed.

* * *

Kasamatsu Yukio was in his final year of college.

Was he happy?

Hahahahaha.

No.

Staying in the college dorm was cheap. For the first few years, Kasamatsu endured the general annoyance of dealing with immature and unaccomplished individuals simply because he was trying to be independent. However, when the final year rolled in, Kasamatsu was running out of patience and compassion.

As the only third year in the dorm, he was forced to deal with freshmen who were sometimes party animals and other times just being general nuisance. And it wasn't so bad, but Kasamatsu aimed to pass his finals with flying colors and being interrupted every few second was not helping with that.

And so, it was with this determination that Kasamatsu sought out any cheap available room/apartment for rent.

However, as Kasamatsu stared at the rundown building, he was convinced he was making a terrible mistake.

"It's not so bad in here," the landlord said amused. He was an elderly man with balding hair and big square glasses, worn polo shirt and shorts. Seriously, what kind of old man wore shorts in the middle of the day? "There's only one person up there, so far. The others left because they're not so agreeable with the other tenant. However, I'm sure you two will get along."

"I'm not here for the company," Kasamatsu said, eying the tall weed in the middle of the building on the ground level. Honestly, Kasamatsu quite liked the structure. There were eight rooms facing each other, and they were built above the ground, leaving space tall enough for one grown man to walk under the building. There were two stairs on the side. Yes, Kasamatsu liked the structure. But it looked like it was due for reconstruction.

"The water is up and running, if that's what you're worried," said the landlord. "How about we go upstairs and you can see it for yourself?

Kasamatsu sighed. Well, might as well. He was already here, after all.

Ten minutes later, Kasamatsu signed the paper.

* * *

It took four days before Kasamatsu finally got to move in. He had to get some stuff from his mother's place and settled the paperwork with his dorm warden, who was quite elusive to find these days. He also had to get some new wallpaper and paintwork to be done, which was tricky and expensive, but Kasamatsu managed.

When all was done, Kasamatsu had never felt so accomplished all his life. The apartment was spacious enough for one person. It had one room and one kitchenette connected to the living room. All in all, it was a sweet deal because the rent was cheap. And the bathroom was _fantastic_.

However, there was something that bothered him deeply.

The other occupant.

The room he had chosen was across the other person's room. In the last two days Kasamatsu worked to refurbish and moving in his stuffs, not a sound or peep had been made by his neighbor. Kasamatsu was tempted to go and introduce himself, maybe bringing food as a sign of goodwill.

Moriyama would laugh himself sick if he could read Kasamatsu's mind right now.

Kasamatsu had heard the door opened and closed a few times, but he could never catch the elusive tenant since he was either doing his business in the toilet or in the middle of an important question.

On the second night after he moved in, he found a giant boa hanging on his window.

Naturally, he screamed.

* * *

"What the actual fuck?!" Kasamatsu sizzled, brandishing the spatula like a mighty sword.

The boa's tongue slithered in and out, its eyes staring unblinkingly. When the head rose to his chest level, Kasamatsu was ready to break down and cry. Honestly, he just wanted a quiet life. Why must the God test him so? Left with no option, Kasamatsu retreated to his room and before closing his door, he saw the boa slithered further into the apartment.

He paced back and forth, the spatula still in hand. He looked at his chair and grabbed it with the speed and eyes of a madman. He put it against the door, the back under the handle. He looked around and saw his only exit was the window, which was about eight foot aboveground.

The door to his apartment suddenly rattled, the handle twisting again and again.

"Kise-kun! Get back here!"

Kasamatsu froze. Kise? Kise was here? Oh God above. First a fucking gigantic boa and now Kise Ryouta? He should have stayed in the dorm!

"Hello, um, Kasamatsu-san? Please don't freak out and tell me if you have a spare key somewhere?"

Kasamatsu almost sobbed with relief. "Above the door."

A few seconds later, Kasamatsu heard the door opened and someone stepped in.

"Kise-kun, you shouldn't break in to someone's place."

Another moment of pause, though it might be Kasamatsu's imagination but the hissing had intensified.

"You can come out now," said his savior.

Kasamatsu opened his door with relief before promptly closing it again.

"WHAT THE FUCK IT'S STILL THERE!"

"He's harmless, I promise."

Kasamatsu paused, his mind reeling madly. "Wait, that reptile is _yours_? And its name is Kise?" What? Was the guy a fan of Kise's? Oh, of all people, he just had to stuck with a fanboy if Kise's!

"This _reptile_ is a dear friend, if you must know. And yes, I named him Kise-kun, after an old friend."

Why did the guy's voice sounded familiar? And an old friend of Kise? Kasamatsu ran a hand over his tired eyes. "Can you at least get it out first before we can talk?"

There was a sound that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

"I'll send him back to his cage. Honestly, he's not supposed to be out, but I think Aomine-kun let him out, again. I'll close the door on my way out so you can relax. I'll be back."

Kasamatsu waited until he heard the front door closed. When it did, he crouched and leaned against the door. That was almost too much for his heart. When his heart no longer felt like it would go mutinous, Kasamatsu assessed what he had so far.

There was no doubt his savior (who was the owner of a fucking boa what the fuck was that even allowed in Japan?) was also his neighbor, who was also an old friend of Kise if his word was to be believed, and probably Murasakibara Atsushi. It was also a possibility that his neighbor was acquainted with the rest of the Generation of Miracles. Now, which guy he knew who was close to the basketball prodigies?

His musing was stopped when he heard someone came in.

Just to be safe, Kasamatsu asked, "Do you not have a reptile hanging off you?"

"No, I don't think so," said his savior, voice faintly amused.

Kasamatsu huffed and finally opened his door. When he saw who it was he was staring at, he had a faint notion to call back the boa because _really_?

"You're my new neighbor?"

Kuroko Tetsuya smiled. "Yes, apparently so. Sorry about Kise-kun, we've never had company before."

"Why would you have a snake as a _pet_?" Kasamatsu asked, exasperated and very, _very_ tired. "I remember Kise said once you have a dog."

"Oh I still have Nigou," Kuroko said, face too honest and innocent for Kasamatsu to believe he was not getting a kick out of this. "But you know a snake is quite exotic. And he reminds me of Kise-kun."

"Right," Kasamatsu said softly. Sighing, he walked over and extended a hand. Kuroko stared at it blankly. "Nice to meet you, I'm Kasamatsu Yukio, your new neighbor, a college student."

Kuroko's lips quirked up a little before he took the hand. "Hi, nice to meet you too, I'm Kuroko Tetsuya, a proud owner of a husky dog, an honest to God lazy fat tabby cat, a temperamental boa, another dying golden fish, a turtle that wakes up once in a blue moon, and a tarantula."

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

Not.

* * *

"I hope you know I'm mightily terrified of spiders," Kasamatsu said with a straight face.

Kuroko stared at him with pity, "I'm so sorry. I'll be extra careful not to let Aomine-kun get close to his cage."

* * *

The very next day, Kasamatsu opened the door and was tackled to the ground by an overenthusiastic husky that went up to his waist.

"Kuroko!" he yelled over the onslaught of saliva. "Get your mutt off me!"

He heard a faint chuckle before the dog was gone, and Kasamatsu was gasping for breath. He opened his eyes to see Kuroko's amused face above him.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, groaning because the tackle had hurt his back. "Let's see you have a giant dog licking the life out of you like you're a lollipop."

"He hadn't liked someone enough to greet them with a lick aside from Kagami-kun. You don't have any classes today?"

Kasamatsu took the offered hand and stood up again. He towered over Kuroko, which was nice since he spent his last year of high school being the midget of the team. Kuroko was wearing a duffle coat and tight-fitting pants along with sneakers.

"No I don't," he answered. "What about you? Are you going out somewhere?"

Kuroko smiled faintly and scratched Nigou behind his ears. "I'm out to walk this guy. I was going to ask if you want to come along."

Kasamatsu threw a suspicious glance over Kuroko's shoulder, glaring at the door across him, "Are you sure you don't have your tarantula hanging off your shoulder?"

"No, I don't," Kuroko deadpanned. Kasamatsu sighed and put a hand over his eyes.

"Just let me get my coat and keys."

It was a short walk to the park near their apartment. When they got there, Nigou barked at a group of children who were apparently very familiar with him since they shrieked and ran to meet the dog halfway. Kasamatsu sat on the swing set beside Kuroko.

"Don't you have classes?" Kasamatsu asked. He reluctantly swung back and forth. If someone dared to point that out, however, things would get bloody.

Kuroko hummed. Unlike Kasamatsu, he had no restraint and swung heartily. "I'm not attending college."

Kasamatsu frowned. "Why?"

Kuroko gave him a faint smirk. Honestly. He didn't remember this guy smiling or laughing so much. They'd just been reacquainted with each other less than twenty four hours ago and Kasamatsu felt like he'd been laughed at more than Kuroko ever did the one year they knew each other.

"I actually ran away from home."

If Kasamatsu had been drinking, he would have spluttered it out. Instead, he just stopped swinging and stared at his neighbor with wide eyes.

"What?"

Kuroko swung back and forth, looking completely untroubled for someone who supposedly ran away from home. "My parents want me to study business, but I don't want to. I want to be a writer, you see. They pestered me so much and one day, I just packed my stuffs and left. The landlord is actually an old family friend, that's why he didn't kick me out when the others left because they can't handle my…unique taste. Honestly, my friends never harm anyone."

Stunned, Kasamatsu looked ahead. "So, what are you actually doing right now?"

"I'm working on a short story. I'm a published author, before you ask. And I still have enough money to support myself for a few years."

Kasamatsu furrowed his eyebrows. "Is that why you didn't come out of your room?"

"Yes," Kuroko said. "It's done. My editor will come and pick it up later in the evening."

"Huh…" Kasamatsu said softly. "Say, do you want to come over for dinner later?"

* * *

"This place doesn't look safe," was Kobori's first assessment. And it really didn't. The walls have cracks, there were weeds growing in the center, and it just looked plain _old_. "We have a spare room in the building, if you're interested."

Kasamatsu snorted and took the first step to the stairs. "Let's see if you can still say that when we get to my room."

It was surprisingly sturdy, the whole place, despite its old look. The floor was smooth cement and the railings were newly painted. In fact, if they could just get rid of the weed and painted the whole place new, it would look at least convincing as a habitable place.

"There are only two of you, you say?"

"Yeah," Kasamatsu answered distractedly as he inserted the key. "The other guy's actually just across the room. He doesn't come out often and sometimes I have to drag him out to get meals. He's an author. And he has demanding pets."

Kobori was almost interested.

"Drat," Kasamatsu cursed softly. He opened the door and immediately went to the kitchen area, leaving Kobori awkwardly hanging on the door before he let himself in. He saw Kasamatsu glaring at something below the fridge. Kobori couldn't see what it was because the aisle blocked the view.

"Aomine! I told you not to enter my place! That's it! No dinner for you!"

Kobori raised an eyebrow. Aomine? As in, Aomine Daiki? Since when did Kasamatsu get chummy with the former Touou's ace?

"You think I'm joking? Oh, your owner will hear about this."

And with that, Kasamatsu stormed past a gaping Kobori, because on his heels was a tabby cat with haughty bearing. The cat spared Kobori a glance before it went after Kasamatsu, apparently not interested in the least in him. Now why did that remind him of a certain dark skinned basketball player?

"Tetsuya!" Kasamatsu hollered. "Aomine took my fish."

There was silence, before the other door opened and a ragged figure stepped out, squinting under the sunlight.

"I'm so sorry," said the guy, a bit louder. "I thought the door was locked?"

"It was," Kasamatsu said, glaring down at the burping cat beside his feet. "He found the key I left you with."

"How?" The guy made his way around to them. It was mid-afternoon and he was still in his pajamas, Kobori noted with amusement. "It was in my laundry. How did he find it?"

Kasamatsu stared at the approaching figure in disbelief. "How did my key ended up in your laundry?"

"Is that Kuroko Tetsuya?" Kobori cut in, because he had no tact and honestly, this was just getting ridiculous.

Kuroko looked at him through lidded eyes before turning to Kasamatsu. "Who's that?"

"Kobori Kouji. He, uh, was in the team with me? We graduated at the same time."

Kobori sent his friend a bland look.

"I see," Kuroko said. Then, he bowed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kuroko Tetsuya."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that," Kobori said dryly. His friend was living with Kuroko Tetsuya? Well, not exactly living together, but they were acting awfully domestic about it, looking at them now.

Kuroko crouched down to level the cat with a look. "Aomine-kun, you know you're not supposed to break into Yukio-kun's place."

The cat meow-ed.

Kuroko sighed. "I know, but Yukio-kun gets fussy about his place and you know he cooks our meals."

The cat's whiskers twitched.

Kuroko gathered it in his arms and stood up. "Aomine-kun said sorry. Is dinner still on tonight?"

"Kobori's joining us, if you don't mind."

"No, I don't." Kuroko looked at Kobori absently, hand petting the cat known as Aomine. "Can I bring Kise-kun?"

Kasamatsu's face was absolutely terrific. "Absolutely not! I hope you haven't forgotten how well our meeting went."

"Then, Midorima-kun?" Kuroko's face was really hopeful and Kobori swore Kasamatsu's cheeks turned red before he scowled.

"_No_. In fact, don't bring anyone. I just cleaned up the place."

"Midorima-kun doesn't take up much space," Kuroko muttered into his cat's fur.

"If you absolutely have to bring anyone," Kasamatsu gritted out, "Just bring Akashi."

Kuroko's eyes sparkled light Christmas light.

* * *

Later, as Kasamatsu prepared dinner, Kobori watched his former captain chopped away, drink in hand.

"So," he started before taking a sip. "You two are on first name basis?"

Honestly, there was just too much holes to poke. Kobori just picked the easiest one.

Kasamatsu snorted. "When you're the only two people living in one place, picked each other's mails, eat almost every meal together, and talk to each other only in your boxers, yeah, you tend to flush the formalities away down the drain."

"He has the key to your place." If that wasn't a glaring sign, he did not know what was.

"I also have his key." Kasamatsu pointed to the key hangers beside the aisle on the wall. "Sometimes I forget my key and he has pets that need to be looked after diligently."

"Oh," Kobori said faintly. "Are you two dating?"

Kasamatsu had the look of absolute confusion that Kobori had a hard time not to smack. "Why would you think that?"

Right. That's it. Kasamatsu's incompetence did not apply to the fairer sex only. He was just romantically-challenged in every way. Kobori would have pitied Kuroko, except the kid looked asexual and Kasamatsu might be the one who needed consolation once he realized his feelings.

"Am I right to assume he names his pets after his former teammates?"

Kasamatsu snorted again, this time in amusement. "You have no idea how confused I was the first time. I thought Kise was here when it was really his pet invading my place."

"Why do you cook for him?"

"Because," Kasamatsu said heavily, "he won't remember to eat if I'm not there to drag him out. He can't cook for the life of him and sometimes he's so into his work he won't even realize how much time has passed. Before I come along, he lives solely on takeout and cat and dog snacks." Kasamatsu said the last fact with a face of absolute disgust.

Kobori nodded along, faking a face of total boredom. This was too rich. Just wait until he told Moriyama. The man would probably throw up in happiness. He'd been hoping for a long time that Kasamatsu would find someone.

"He's only two years younger than us, isn't he?"

Kasamatsu didn't get to answer (not that Kobori needed one, it was a rhetorical question anyway) when the door was pushed open and Kuroko stepped in…with a large glass bowl.

"Is that…a _fish_?" Kobori shouldn't be surprised, really.

Kasamatsu made a move towards Kuroko and took the bowl into his hand before depositing it to the aisle.

"Kobori," Kasamatsu said with the face of a proud father introducing his firstborn. "Meet Akashi, the 26th. I occasionally call him Fish."

"Or Seijuurou," Kuroko said as he came up behind Kasamatsu. The two shared a secretive smile.

Eugh. If they don't date soon, Kobori would not be held responsible for his action.

"The 26th?" Kobori eyed the golden fish, who blew bubbles and seemed to ignore Kobori's presence. Or maybe that was just his paranoia.

"Sometimes he dies," Kuroko deadpanned as he took his seat beside Kobori.

"This is one of the few that lasts the longest, actually." Kasamatsu entered the kitchen again, chopping the cucumbers.

"Yukio-kun saved Akashi-kun," Kuroko said proudly. "He's also the first one who doesn't ask me why I don't get a new one when Akashi-kun starts dying. Again."

"Hm…" Kobori looked at the two. Kuroko had abandoned his seat and was now leaning into Kasamatsu's personal space, who didn't seem to notice at all. Once the two started squabbling because Kuroko wanted to be the one who did the chopping, Kasamatsu flicked his nose and told him to get out of his kitchen because Kuroko was apparently a walking disaster zone.

"By the way," Kuroko started idly, reinstating himself beside Kobori. "I think Midorima-kun is already here. He's not in his cage."

Kobori was impressed by Kasamatsu's colorful vocabulary and the speed he said them. He seemed to have a lot of practice.

* * *

Moriyama Yoshitaka was nervous.

Just kidding.

He looked at the rundown apartment building with growing fire. He believed his old friend when Kobori said Kasamatsu might have found someone, but Moriyama didn't like knowing something without solid proof. It was Sunday morning. Moriyama choose this specific day because there was a possibility Kasamatsu and his lover might spend the day together, which gave Moriyama a chance to meet Kasamatsu's clandestine lover.

He didn't expect a boa, however.

"WHAT IS THAT DOING HERE!?" Moriyama pointed at the nine foot reptile sprawled across the sofa.

Kasamatsu threw a glance behind him, a look that bordering on glare on the giant snake. "Ignore him," he said, opening the door wider because he expected Moriyama to step into a room with a giant boa? Fuck no. "He's just here chilling."

"Chilling?" Moriyama gave his friend a despairing look.

"He's harmless," Kasamatsu sighed. "Just…get in. I need to feed him."

"Feed?" Moriyama squeaked. "Since when did you get a snake? Is that even legal?"

"Oh it's legal, paperwork and all that." Kasamatsu snorted. "And he's a friend's pet, not mine."

That's it. Kobori pulled a good one on him and his former captain had gone loopy.

Moriyama dashed away without a backward glance, ignoring Kasamatsu's startled cries. Faintly, he heard:

"Kise you fucker! Get out now or no breakfast for you!"

* * *

Kise's first course of action once he calmed down was to call Akashi.

Of course.

"AKASCHICCII!" He yelled into the phone. "KASAMATSU-SENPAI IS SLEEPING WITH MIDORIMACCHII!"

"_I fail to see how it's relevant for me to know about Midorima's sex life."_

Kise let out a scream of frustration before ending the call. He would regret that later.

"AOMINECCHII!" Kise yelled into his phone again. "MIDORIMACCHII IS SLEEPING WITH MY HIGH SCHOOL CAPTAIN!"

"_What the fuck?!"_

"Right?!" Kise grinned in relief. At least somebody understood his horror.

"_I'm masturbating, you asshole. Don't call me to gossip!"_

Kise sobbed. "Aominecchii you ganguro! Die!"

"_Hey! That's—"_

Kise hung up. At the same time, a message from Kuroko came in. Kise stared at the message. What if it was another ground-breaking revelation? With shaking fingers, he opened it.

_-Akashi-kun is dying  
meeting with doctor  
back asap-_

Kise fainted.

* * *

The next day, Akashi stared at the consolation gifts and cards with growing bemusement.

At the same time on the other side of the city, Midorima stared at the piling packages, cards, calls and messages, congratulating him on a successful endeavor with…

"Who's Kasamatsu Yukio?!"

* * *

Tetsuya inspected the huge package in his boyfriend's living room.

"To the newlyweds…?" he read the card.

Yukio came out of his room, phone in hand and face not amused in the least.

"Moriyama just called to yell at me for not telling him about us, I think? How did he find out?"

Tetsuya hummed, eyes on the card which had Yukio and Midorima-kun's name. He slipped the card into his pocket before Yukio could catch a glance. He stood up to give his boyfriend a morning kiss. Yukio reciprocated enthusiastically, which made Tetsuya smiled into the kiss sappily.

"Well, at least they're happy for us."

Yukio grunted, more interested in Tetsuya's lips and the rest of his face than the huge package in his living room. "Let's go back to bed," he murmured, hand slipping slyly under the shirt Tetsuya wore as nightgown.

"WHAT THE FUCK MIDORIMA! GET OUT OF THE BED!"

* * *

End.

**A/N**: This was long horry sheet. Anyway, if it's not clear, the tarantula is Midorin XD the turtle is Mukkun. I honestly want to make this longer omg. Yes, Kuroko's parents are plenty rich. And the wrongly sent messages are because the two idiots are in a hurry and Kise's name starts with K which is also their initials XD I think they might learn after this and change the contact number to 'Bae' and 'Boyfriend' and be cute af.

* * *

黒子のバスケ © Fujimaki Tadatoshi


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